As we bid 2003 good-bye, it's a wonderful time to reflect upon the
past year and the changes it has wrought on all of us. The Christmas
letter tells the tale (at least briefly) and I think it's safe to say
that the BLOG certainly has chronicled the last seven months in more
detail!
So instead of boring the heck out of you with a recap, I offer up this
quote from Babylon 5 that really sums up a lot of my
feelings for the past year. OK, my tendency to quote drives Mommy up a
wall but that is just tough...I like quotes, especially good ones like
this one! :)
If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright
spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth...for
understanding. Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God,
but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the
search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall.
The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation
upon seeing it.
Similarly, someone who does not search - who does not bring a lantern -
sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search
for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light...pure and
unblemished...not understanding that it comes from us.
Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the
center of the universe - God looks astonishingly like we do - or we turn
to look at our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow
ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the
light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all
its flaws; and in so doing, better understand the world around us.
--- Citizen G'Kar:
I think it's safe to say that all of us who have encountered and could
not help but fall in love with Nicholas have experienced this desperate
yearning to find this truth and understanding for ourselves. The beauty
of it is that we each have a unique and perfectly valid
view of that sentinel event of this year (at least for us, the addition
of Nicholas to our family) and it's after effects.
It's not been an easy journey of discovery for any of us. From starting
the year with what was going to become a more exciting pregnancy to the
birth and beyond (not to mention all of real life's
intrusions like trying to sell a house in a buyer's market and maintain
one's focus and job performance)...it is utterly impossible to have made
it through the year and not be utterly changed. If you can pull that
off, you need to check the ol' ticker 'cause it ain't
workin'!
I can't count how many times I've been scared witless about his coming
and what it meant. Or how many times I've felt joy when holding him
and giving him a bottle and seeing him look at me with such utter trust
and love that it almost makes me want to cry! Or the many times I've
been frustrated out of my mind trying to figure out what it is that he
wants me to do when he's yelling his head off...do I change a diaper,
feed him, hold him, make funny faces at him, what?!? How much formula
am I giving him now (it varied from feeding to feeding) and do I give
him his medicine now or later?
What I can say without reservation is that I wouldn't know what to do
had it not been for Julia just about driving herself to exhaustion
being a wonderful mother to Nicholas these past 7½ months! She
has certainly shouldered the majority of the childcare and late nights
with him (something I just don't do well at all) and all the while
manages to still do more than her fair share of the work round the
house out of sheer determination. She's a pretty amazing woman and I
feel lucky that she actually said yes two years ago!
She's also taken someone who was completely clueless (that would me!)
and turned me into someone who is at least borderline competent in the
baby care arts. I'll confess that those first couple of months were
hell because he was so small and I thought I'd break him with my big
(and clumsy) hands! It's just not that easy handling a small baby like
that, particularly when you're not used to it and you're not yet
comfortable with the proposition. As he finally started hitting the
growth spurts, he got a lot easier to handle (well, if you discount his
I'm a human pretzel routine when you're changing him or
holding him, that is). With time also comes experience and that's a
real help...
Another shout out goes to Grammy who has really helped us out by taking
care of Nicholas on the days we both have to go to work. That, her
voice of experience and being a wonderful sounding board has been of
immeasurable help these past few months. I'm not the least
ashamed to say that in order to have an amazing wife, Julia had to have
an amazing mother before her...and she most certainly does!
And most importantly, we are eternally grateful for our family and friends
(those who read the BLOG and those who don't) who have made the trail
in 2003 that much easier to travel simply by being who they are and
caring deeply for us. We appreciate that more than you'll know!
With that, our hopes and our dreams for you is a peaceful, safe, and
happy 2004 for you and yours!
Today was a day of relaxation...time to hang out and just enjoy ourselves
with Gramps and Grandma Carol. Good times, games of dominoes, chinese
food...who could go wrong?
Well, OK...they are due to depart for Florida and that's a bummer but
we get Gramps back in two weeks for Nicholas' baptism so that's OK.
If Christmas wasn't mind-blowing enough, it was time for Moby Dodge (the
great white whale) to make the pilgrimage from Port Orange bringing
Gramps, Grandma Carol, and another mighty mountain of presents for all.
I was already out and about and I caught them at the Hampton Inn
that has become their home away from home here (and they're on a first-
name basis with the staff!).
Yep, that van is riding a bit low in the aft sections, I would say!
If you have any concerns about the quality of Chrysler vans, hopefully
this BLOG has convinced you that they can haul quite a bit without
breaking the rear axle! I don't know if I can say the same about my
back when we unloaded most of the stuff at Grammy's house...and keep
in mind, a fair bit had already been dropped off in Cumberland, NC!
However, unload Moby Dodge we did (and how I was able to walk afterwards
was a minor miracle!) and pretty soon we had another mountain of presents
guarding the tree. Mind you, we had already cleared out most of the
stuff from Christmas morning and now we were back to the beginning as
if nothing had been done! If that wasn't enough, there were more than
a few bags of hand-picked citrus which was some of the best navel oranges
I've ever had that didn't come from the tree behind Gramps' house!
As you might imagine, Nicholas had recovered from the previous day's
sensory overload and was ready for Round 2. He seemed to
get the hang of ripping wrapping paper awfully quickly and pretty soon
was laughing up a storm and unleashing cute baby mode
with abandon! By the time all was said and done, Nicholas had another
pile of toys and clothes and more wrapping paper to eat/slobber over
than he knew what to do with!
Gramps and Grandma Carol once again outdid themselves...they spoil us
and Nicholas rotten (more Nicholas than us but that's their job!).
We had a grand time with a Honeybaked Ham dinner (big surprise there, eh?)
and some games and it was time for them to catch some ZZZZZZZZs at
their hotel.
There is something magical about a baby's first Christmas. Never mind
the pulled muscles carrying all sorts of stuff in to create a massive
sensory overload for the poor kid or worrying about where the dinars
are going to come to pay for said sensory buffet.
You might have gotten the impression that this family tends to go a bit
overboard in terms of Christmas. I'm not talking over the gunwales of
the dinghy overboard...I'm talking about taking that leap from the stern
of the Titanic as she's going down by the head for the
final time! And even that doesn't really prepare you for the reality
of it.
The setting is Grammy's living room, complete with a really large tree
guarded by amazing piles of presents. Over to the side the stockings
are hung (OK, leaned!) with the greatest of care and they're guarded by
boxes of cereal. That sounds a bit weird but there's a really nifty
tradition from Julia's family that's going on there. The short version
is that sugared cereal was a rare treat during the year so they looked
forward to that box that came at Christmas time. Mommy is a big
Count Chocula fan whilst Daddy tends to either
Honeycomb or Frosted Flakes.
The opening of the presents takes a few hours to complete. This is not
mere ripping into packages as quick as one can thing...this is an event
that has been brewing for a year that is meant to be savoured and
experienced slowly. Of course, this year was special as it was
Nicholas' first foray into the world of Christmas sensory overload!
There are just so many cool things to rip and pound and slobber over as
we try to eat them. And it doesn't really matter if the object in
question has his name on it or not...it's all fair game! For those who
have watched Finding Nemo, just imagine the seagulls and
their pet phrase...he knows it well! ;)-
The boy ended up with a lot of cool stuff in his pile...toys, clothes,
you name it. There was a definite Fisher Price theme
going on, particularly for Peek-A-Blocks. He even got his
own box of cereal...the baby kind, that is! I don't think he will mind
chowing down on it as we've only found one food that he's not terribly
fond of and cereal isn't it!
Interestingly enough, his favourite thing of all wasn't the mighty
mountain of presents that came bearing his name...it turned out to be
the metallic paper that wrapped the gift from one of Grammy's neighbours,
Adrienne and Fitz! He had an absolute ball wearing the paper, flinging
it about, and ultimately trying to chew on it.
He did really well for a first-timer and he lasted about ninety minutes
before he finally started petering out for a nap. Now just picture the
little guy sleeping on Mommy's lap in the middle of all of these
unwrapped presents after a wild time opening packages and playing and
having a grand time with a look of wonder and enjoyment that just
takes your breath away.
That right there is a bona fide Christmas memory, my friends!
That is the magic of Christmas at work...
You know what the really cool part about that is? You watch this
spectacle and you just can't help feeling like a young kid in a candy shoppe
again. You just can't help it! That's one of the coolest feelings you
can have and all of a sudden you forget the achy muscles from moving all
of the stuff and the headache of how you're going to pay for it all and
you just enjoy the moment as a kid again.
Yeah, presents at Christmas are nice and it's fun to get them. But in
that time of watching Nicholas, he gave me the gift of vicarious
youth and that is a gift beyond words! The time with family
on Christmas morning is a very cherished one and that's the only gift I
ever ask to find round the tree for me.
The rest of the day was a day of relaxation. No need to be anywhere,
no need to do a thing save hang out, play games, watch movies, and of
course play with Nicholas! We do have some traditional movies that we
watch over the holidays (Daddy is an It's a Wonderful Life
partisan whilst Mommy likes Miracle on 34th
Street). It's sometimes a challenge to get them in over the
holiday season but so far we're doing pretty OK in that department!
We had a wonderful dinner of Honeybaked Ham and the trimmings (this
shouldn't be a surprise...see the entry for Christmas Eve!).
It's our hope that your Christmas was just as cool as ours! :)
We've gotten Nicholas hooked on the Baby Einstein series
of DVDs over the past couple of months. Uncle Patrick and Aunt Suzette
really started off his collection.
It's funny watching him watching the DVDs. He gets really enchanted
by the bright colours and the music. One of his favourites is
Baby Beethoven which not surprisingly features five of
the symphonies and other incidental pieces.
What was really interesting was seeing the pieces that really captured
his attention. The one that wasn't all that surprising was
Fur Elise which is one of Mommy's favourite pieces. The
one that caught me by surprise was seeing how powerful an influence the
6th Symphony was on him. Quite interesting, that.
For the record, Daddy prefers the 3rd and
7th Symphonies...
Yep, it actually snowed a couple of times whilst Nicholas was out and
about. Some of the snow showers were actually impressive, well for
North Carolina anyway. We usually don't see snow until January or
February!
OK, OK, it wasn't really all that much considering what the family in
the Great White North™ usually has to contend with in the average
Minnesotan winter. But none of snow was sticking and we certainly
didn't get any accumulation and nothing like that nasty storm in January
2000 when Raleigh got 24" on the ground and had more snow than Duluth,
Minnesota.
But it was real snow nonetheless! Of course, Nicholas slept through
most of it and was unimpressed the rest of the time. I'm sure when he
is older and there is actual snow on the ground, there will be more than
enough time for snowball fights... :)
Seven months old and you're getting to be a really big boy now. It seems like yesterday that I was holding you in my arms and wondering how my big hands would hold your tiny body without fumbling or dropping you! But now you're definitely an arm full and all sorts of wiggly bouncy and that certainly makes feeding and cuddling more interesting.
Today was Nicholas' first encounter with Santa Claus. We popped over
to the new mall in North Raleigh, Triangle Town Centre for
the obligatory annual photograph with Santa.
Thanksgiving is Daddy's holiday but Christmas is definitely the holiday
for Mommy and Grammy. They manage to hide it fairly well with the
whole house decorated in Christmas themed stuff. Grammy even has seven
identifiably different Christmas trees at her house, each with a
different theme and purpose. (To be honest, I don't think that
Triangle Town Centre has anything on Grammy's house but their setup is
nice nonetheless).
But here we are at Twiangle Town in North Raleigh and
our mission is to get a good picture with Santa. Now, imagine this...
Nicholas has shown that he can handle photo sessions with ease. He
charms the photographers like you wouldn't believe and busts smiles
at the drop of the hat. He certainly seemed in the smiling mood as we
waited to get to Santa.
And then we got to Santa's lap! We tried all of the usual tricks and
he wasn't having anything to do with it. I even suggested to Nicholas
that lack of smiling might well land him on the naughty list and he did
not really want that (Santa had a bit of a laugh at that!). Luckily,
he finally came through with that winning smile of his and we got a
pretty decent shot.
Then it was time to wander about and we found the play area and Nicholas
really got into that! He certainly looked like he had a fair bit of a
thrill... :)
Well, at least his first one when he was out and about enough to enjoy
the experience, that is! He had come along for the ride on the inside
when Mommy and Daddy went to Florida last year for Thanksgiving and an
anniversary celebration.
Anyone who knows Daddy knows of his insatiable fascination with airplanes
and aviation. Anyone who knows Mommy knows she's not quite as enthralled
with man's conquest of aerospace ("is that a big plane or a small
plane" is an oft-heard quote!). Mommy was even nice enough to
do a run through the National Air and Space Museum when
we went to Washington, D.C. in 2000. I had to trade some art gallery
tours for that one and don't regret it...and you heard it from me, the
art galleries were cooler than Air and Space (mainly because Air and
Space was undergoing a serious renovation effort...I am so ready to see
the new facility at Dulles (IAD)...I've got some rolls of film for the
Enola Gay and the Dash-80...but I digress... :) ). I am definitely
looking forward to taking Nicholas to the observation park overlooking
runway 5L-23R and maybe one day we'll do the Smithsonian and Wright-
Patterson in Dayton, Ohio...together!
But the reason we were there was to pick up Grammy who made a trip out
to Columbus, Ohio to attend Mairin's baptism ceremony. Grammy certainly
had an interesting time getting there and the nor'easter threw her
travel plans for a loop on the return trip. But the delay in returning
home gave Mommy and Daddy a chance to celebrate their second anniversary
at Jimmy V's Steakhouse in Cary with Nicholas.
It's sometimes hard to believe that it was two years to the day that we
had gotten married and look at the changes we've experienced since that
lovely day. We certainly had an interesting couple of years but the
challenges have certainly brought us closer and made us stronger.
The biggest challenge is certainly the sweetest of them...and that's
you, Nicholas! And we would not have it any other way... :)