After publishing the first four stories in the series of “The DMV Chronicles”, it occurred to me that there’s two more tales to tell of the joys of navigating the joyful process that is the in-person visit to DMV.
The first one was in 2018 which was the first opportunity to renew the driving licence with the REAL ID version.
Coming up with the required paperwork was a breeze aided tremendously by the passport which was renewed a couple of years prior which was already REAL ID-compliant.
After collecting Katie and Alex from school, we headed over toward the Garner DMV driving licence office which wasn’t too far down the street from Julia’s old house and right across from the library where I figured we’d be able to hang out until after she had gotten off from work.
The visit started off innocuously enough round 1515 hours…got through the door and into the triage queue where there was an examiner stationed who would occasionally call out to the queued patrons what documents were needed and to have them at hand when it was their turn for triage.
That was actually very smart, IMO.
When the triage person sorted the patrons into the ones wanting REAL ID (which was most of us as we were right up against another “deadline” to meet for REAL ID compliance that would subsequently be kicked down the road a bit!) versus those needing road tests, I figured we should be able to get through the process quick enough and have some time amongst the stacks in the library.
However, it was what the triage examiner said next that should have been a huge clue that our dreams of quick renewal and being off to the land of literary imagination was exceptional wishful thinking.
She said that if we didn’t make it to an examiner’s booth by 1700, we’d be kicked out and have to come back another day to repeat this process of sitting and waiting around.
Uh, OK.
There wasn’t an excessive number of people in the waiting area and much less between me and the examiner and about 90 minutes to play with. With several examiners about, getting service before 1700 should be a snap, eh?
One would dare to dream that it would be so. But after spending 45 minutes watching one of the examiners literally do absolutely nothing at her desk for all of that time and her neighbour reassuring us that they were actually alive by moving from their desk to the printer and back again about once every ten minutes, I’ll confess that my confidence that I was going to walk out with a renewed driving licence was pretty much at an all-time low.
That wasn’t helped by the change in the triage person’s message round 1630 where she just flatly told anyone who came for just a REAL ID they’d be best advised to just bugger off and try some other time. All but one person took that suggestion seriously.
At 1650 after watching more creative inertia on the part of most of the examiners who didn’t even disguise their frequent glances to the huge clock on the wall, I was convinced that I was just plain screwed.
Now we’re at 1658 and the triage examiner is standing up to head to the door to lock it when the one examiner still doing actual productive work finally calls my number to booth #1.
I was half expecting her to go “PSYCHE! Please call again!” but she just took the stack of documents with a smile that suggested she knew exactly how finely on the edge we were, scanned them in no time flat, gave me the road signs/vision test in the ViewMaster and somehow managed to convince the camera to dispense with the flash (and the inevitable migraine that would have followed) and suddenly I’ve got the paper copy of the renewed REAL ID licence in hand.
Even more shocking was that she did this after the front door was locked because we didn’t leave until 1710 after we’d been told in no uncertain terms that it was game over at 1700.
I’ll admit that the thanks I was offering her was profuse and genuine. It wasn’t quite to the level of groveling and bowing in obeisance but it wasn’t too far away from it either!
Our second “lost tale” comes from the time we visited the DMV licence office not too far from the Coca-Cola distribution centre complex in Clayton so Nicholas could get his learner’s permit.
He was a bit nervous about sitting the examination as we’re rolling into the car park and we were still somewhat unsure as to whether he’d be given a road test which given that he wasn’t too fond of the size of the Traverse or her handling, I’d imagine that would have sent his pucker factor through the roof.
What I didn’t mention in that story at the time is that we were almost royally screwed before he’d even have a chance to get his foot in the door.
We’re at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic where the only way you could get an audience at DMV was via the appointment system which actually worked in this instance where we were able to snag an appointment in Clayton before his driver’s eligibility certificate expired.
So here we’re rolling up into the car park and I’ve checked the folder containing all of his documents to get a REAL ID compliant permit and made sure everything was in ordnung.
The triage examiner is in the car park dealing with the various patrons spaced at 2m intervals and comes up to us and starts making her enquiries of Nicholas who proceeds to show her the documents she’s interested in seeing.
What *I* wasn’t expecting was that she wanted me to show my driving licence to verify who I am. That had not come up in anything I had read about the process up to that point but I figured that DMV moves in a mysterious way so who am I as a mere mortal to question it?
Out comes the wallet, the zippered part of it is opened…and my driving licence is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! A quick search of the Traverse yields no driving licence.
And then it suddenly dawns on me where exactly it is…it’s still in the scanner. That morning, I was updating the address and phone number for the kids at Enloe (which somehow they had wrong and I have no earthly idea why!) and one of the documents they wanted was a copy of the driving licence which I had scanned and EMAILed but apparently forgot to put back into my wallet.
Now I feel lower than a snake’s testicles thinking after all of the fuss I’d made during the trip to Clayton for Nicholas having all of his papers in order for examination for me to completely screw him out of his permit because we’ve got to go to the back of the queue.
I confess my sin of having left the licence in my scanner and offer to drive back to collect it if she’d be kind enough to have him sit his examination whilst I’m away.
To my surprise, she asks me if I have any identification and this is when I’m thankful that my passport is always in my wallet (yes…like the driving licence ought to be but the passport truly doesn’t leave the wallet except to be shown and then returned to it’s home).
She takes a quick peek at it to ensure I’m the same cat as pictured on the declarations page (and other than a few more years and getting a bit uglier, I was indeed the same person), she tells Nicholas to pop inside to sit his examination.
After he’s safely on his way, she turns to me and says that whilst she cannot possibly recommend that Nicholas drive without my licence in the vehicle and that I probably ought not to either without that same licence…she did mention that there seems to be an awful lot of people interested in DMV services that afternoon and that keeping track of the rather full queue as well as the vehicles in the car park is not the easiest task in the world.
The wink that followed made it clear without words that if the Traverse wasn’t there when she was looking about, she wasn’t likely to take any more official notice of that fact.
One “thank you very kindly” and a quick photo session with Nicholas later, we made it back to my house without further incident and I can assure you my first stop after opening the door was to retrieve my licence from the scanner in the Nerdery and return it to it’s proper home.
I wonder if she’ll ever know just how thankful I was that she allowed us to accomplish the mission when I ready to put my hand up for being absent minded and stupid in one fell swoop.
There are some really cool licence examiners amongst those serving at the DMV licence offices.
I wouldn’t necessarily go looking for them at the New Bern Avenue office any time soon but they are out there.
You’ve just got to find them and appreciate them when you do. 🙂