Today’s door-to-door scammers are ones that I was pretty sure I’d recognised from a previous visit and yep, it was Millennium Roofing Inc yet again for the fourth time in two months.
The previous visits weren’t exactly a raving success for treating the homeowner with respect and it was made very clear to the appallingly rude millennials they have knocking on doors that I’d just as soon never see them step one millimetre on my property ever again.
I would have thought that would have been a strong enough hint for even the most dumb and/or desperate of solicitors.
Apparently, I wasn’t reckoning on these people lowering the bar of reasonable expectations even further.
Even without a posted sign, it should be patently obvious that the notification requirements of § 14‑159.13 (Second degree trespass) have been more than satisfied:
§ 14‑159.13. Second degree trespass.
(a) Offense. – A person commits the offense of second degree trespass if, without
authorization, the person enters or remains on any of the following:
(1) On premises of another after the person has been notified not to enter or remain
there by the owner, by a person in charge of the premises, by a lawful occupant,
or by another authorized person.
(2) On premises that are posted, in a manner reasonably likely to come to the
attention of intruders, with notice not to enter the premises.
(3) On the curtilage of a dwelling of another between the hours of midnight and
6:00 A.M.
(b) Penalties. – A violation of subdivision (a)(1) or (a)(2) of this section is a Class 3
misdemeanor. A violation of subdivision (a)(3) of this section is a Class 2 misdemeanor. (1987, c.
700, s. 1; 1993, c. 539, s. 102; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c); 2023‑85, s. 1.)
Today’s door knocker was especially loud and obnoxious, both on the door and the doorbell.
Sadly, he didn’t take the hint where he could clearly see me on the floor in front of my recliner trying to straighten out my back and not making an effort to move in that direction.
Nor did he take the second hint when he was even louder and more obnoxious the second time round.
He finally wanders up the cul-de-sac where his taller mate is bothering a neighbour three doors away when he sees me finally come out my front door and lean up against Fortitude (the Japanese Maple closest to the front door).
I’ve never seen someone turn away from someone they were actively soliciting to sprint across the cul-de-sac in order to double their harassment opportunities.
It’s not like I actually asked him to do so nor did I make any indication that I was interested in doing anything other than looking up the cul-de-sac in peace.
That was his second mistake.
Strike three was his unfortunate choice of an unbelievably familiar and informal greeting that long-time readers know I just absolutely love coming out of the mouth of someone over 30 years my junior.
Once I saw the company logo on his polo shirt, I’ll confess that I was rather surprised he didn’t remember our last encounter because I certainly remember his idea of manners and if anything they’ve gotten even worse.
There are times I genuinely wonder if the millennial generation is just complete incapable of comprehending the concept of showing proper respect to their elders because the way they interact with each other even on first meeting is unbelievably familiar and casual.
But it’s really shocking to me when the millennial in question is Latino because I’ve come to learn quite a lot more about the nuances of the culture over the past 14 years…way more than I ever learnt whilst taking Spanish language classes or visiting Miami, Mexico and Belize.
If I had ever greeted a Latino so informally on first meeting (whether they’re my elder or not), that’s pretty much the end of any chance at a meaningful relationship unless you really work super hard at atoning for such a grievous insult.
Indeed, it’s baked into the Spanish language in the concept of usted versus tú and when the more formal usted is to be used…
In this particular case, I think I’ve got a strong argument for three of those four criteria right off the bat and I’d like to think that on my own land that I’m about as much of an authority figure you will be able to find so it might well be a clean sweep of all four.
That’s why after two minutes of desperately trying to get this person to understand just how he’d put his foot horribly wrong and knowing the culture as I do, I think it was reasonable to ask if he’d been brought up properly to treat his elders with respect.
His retort was something along the lines of “did your parents bring you up to respect moderation and eating too much”.
Oooooh! It’s not like I haven’t heard that one over the past few decades before but I’ll confess it’s the first time I’d ever heard something like that come from the mouth of someone who started out the conversation with the expectation of selling a roof (likely at an inflated price they’d want to extort from the insurance company).
His taller mate (also Latino) moves the truck and then comes down to the top of the driveway to (presumably) retrieve his shorter and more mouthy colleague after determining correctly that his mate had completely lost the plot and control over the conversation.
He was equally oblivious to why his colleague’s greeting was completely inappropriate but at least had the presence of mind to be much calmer and then asked for my name in a bid to try to be at least more respectful but he was already too late thanks to getting a couple of verbal jabs of his own that I was “someone they didn’t want to work with” (feeling’s mutual so finally take the hint and leave me the hell alone!).
I’m not in the habit of giving my name to a total stranger even if they were also in the party of three that had turned up on the doorstep two months prior. To Hungarians, names have a cultural power that’s far more potent than in many other societies where misusing or even misspelling someone’s name is considered a deadly insult.
But as apparently undesirable a client as he felt I was, he didn’t seem opposed to spending another four minutes trying to convince me of the legality of his roofing scam as well as trying to sell the idea that we don’t have the same storms in North Carolina as they do in Florida where the roofing scam against insurance had been perfected until Tallahassee finally wised up and outlawed some of the most abusive practices.
He is clearly either unaware or blissfully ignores the fact that North Carolina experiences more hurricanes than Florida does in most years and we also usually have more tornadoes than anywhere else outside of Tornado Alley and ours tend to be more powerful than the ones seen in Florida.
But heaven forbid facts get in the way of his sales pitch full of BS.
I’ll give him some mad props for when he decided to go for even more blatant disrespect when it was clear he had run out of smart-aleck wisecracks and actual facts.
At least he was much more imaginative than his shorter colleague when he riffed on the purple colour of my shirt and called me “Grimace” as his parting shot as he turned to get back into his truck!
I’ll confess I was shocked he even know who Grimace was given that most of the McDonald’s advert campaigns he featured in prominently were ancient well before he was even born.
But that’s a new twist on a sales pitch that I’d never seen before and it’s hard to not actually laugh and admire his creativity in thinking that comparing me to a large and friendly character nearly as old as I am who is known for giving hugs to those who ask for them was somehow insulting to me.
Amused as I was, that was the point where I made it clear to both of them that should anyone from their company ever return and step on my property without leave or invitation, a complaint will be sworn out with Raleigh PD for them to be done for second-degree trespass.
Of course, the mouthy short one couldn’t let it go and decided to try to double-down and yell out that he’d be back tomorrow to knock the door once more.
OK, not only are his manners utterly deplorable but he’s also apparently got a learning curve best described as “horizontal”.
If he wants to engage in a certain activity that’s the first half of FAFO, then he’s more than welcome to find out that ignoring the fact that the all the warnings that are required by law have now been given and that consequences may well come his way for criminal trespass after warning which for a class 2 misdemeanor is up to 60 days in jail and a $1,000 fine depending on the defendent’s prior record.
If he wants to spend time defending himself from his indefensible behaviour, then I’ll be more than happy to oblige his learning opportunity and provide the evidence the DA needs should they bother to prosecute (I’m not so hopeful on that front given what I’ve seen of Wake County DAs through the years).
I’m over dealing with these people who come out of the woodwork like the roaches they are every time we get a bit of rain and wind and try the “free roof insurance scam”. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that I should be able to enjoy the peace and sanctity of my own home and somehow I doubt they’d be kindly disposed were I to turn up on their doorstep and engage in the same shady behaviour.
Maybe a prosecution might well be what is needed for the rest of these scammers to take a hint and leave us in peace.
