A week ago, the US Army held a parade through Arlington and Washington DC celebrating their 250th anniversary (dating back to when they were commissioned as the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War).
Of course, we’ve all had our views on that parade’s effectiveness and spectacle but there was one group who was ready, willing, and able to put that anniversary into it’s proper perspective…the United States Marine Corps.
Only a Marine could pull off taking the piss with the Army with a straight face! 🙂
If your only view into life in the Marine Corps is the first half of the movie “Full Metal Jacket”, you can be forgiven for wondering if the only sense of humour employed at Parris Island is the most insulting kind imaginable:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Today… is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few Marines! God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman — “Full Metal Jacket”
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman — “Full Metal Jacket”
Pvt. Joker: Sir! To kill, sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: So you’re a killer!
Pvt. Joker: Sir! Yes, sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Then let me see your War Face…! You got a War Face?
[He roars at Joker]
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: That’s a War Face; now, let me see your War Face!
[Joker roars at him]
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: BULLSHIT YOU DIDN’T CONVINCE ME! LET ME SEE YOUR *REAL* WAR FACE!
[Joker roars harder and louder than before]
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: You still didn’t convince me; work on it!
R Lee Ermey (who was actually a Marine drill instructor) was brought in to consult during the filming of “Full Metal Jacket” and so impressed director Stanley Kubrick that he was tapped to actually play Gunny Hartman in the film and the vast majority of his lines were improvised on the spot and rarely took more than 2-3 takes (both of which are almost unheard of in a Stanley Kubrick flick!).
The only scene with Ermey that required more takes was the infamous “jelly doughnut” scene where he is excoriating Private Gomer Pyle for having stashed the offending pastry in his footlocker after having removed it from the mess hall without authorisation.
And there is no doubt that many in the Marine Corps are hard core and people you really don’t want to mess with.
They are by far the best marksmen in the entire US Armed Forces, hands down…and that’s coming from an Army brat who has had the privilege of cutting loose with some of the toys our friends in the infantry get to play with.
Anyone who can head shot a target a mile away in windy conditions with a sniper’s rifle is exactly the kind of guy I’d want looking out for me in combat!
But for all of the jokes you hear about how serious they can be, there’s more than a few Marines I’ve encountered in my life that have one hell of a sense of humour and can give in that department just as much as they take the jarhead jokes.
And come 10 Nov 2025 when it’s time for the Marines to celebrate their 250th, I can only hope that the Army can return the best wishes that were extended to them in the same spirit of humour and camaraderie! 🙂