A certain someone is also ticking over the years on his ol’ odometer reading not too long after I suffered from the same affliction! 🙂
Let’s just say *THAT* number absolutely takes my breath away because it seems like it was literally yesterday I was doing my very best not to hit the deck in an eerie re-enactment of the intro sequence to “Quincy, M.E.”…
In those years, I’ve seen Nicholas experience and overcome many challenges along the way to him finding his way to a life of turning wrenches for Toyota by day and refereeing or playing goaltender in beer league hockey at night and everything in between.
And by and large he seems to have found some measure of balance in the universe along the way.
What I’ve truly admired is just how far he’s come from that head-strong and occasionally cross younger version of himself in ways that I don’t think he even realises yet.
In a manner of confession, I was genuinely terrified when he turned 21 and would be able to legally indulge in the wobbly juice and then engage in another activity where the wobbly juice being in one’s body is usually not the best idea.
But the absolute last thing I ever wanted to do was create the dynamic by which he could potentially interpret my personal lack of desire to combine drinking with driving as a challenge to his ability to do so and successfully survive that choice.
And so there has always been this deal offered to any of the kids should they need it:
If you ever find yourself in a situation that you feel you are in danger and/or you need someone to come pick you up and make sure you’re safe, you make that call to me at whatever hour you need to and I shall be there.
No recriminations, no lectures, just a quiet ride to safety and we can deal with retrieving your vehicle later on when it’s more prudent to do so.
Neither of my two children who do drive on their own has ever taken me up on that contract that I gave as one of the most solemn promises I am capable of giving.
Until now, that is!
Nicholas came to me a couple of days ago and mentioned that he had plans to hang out with his mates on the evening of his birthday and that he planned on enjoying himself and the offerings available at the biergarten downtown on Glenwood Avenue in the entertainment district.
The offerings of the wobbly kind.
And this is when he said something that frankly was one of the best gifts that he could have ever come up with for my recent birthday: he asked me if I would mind giving him a ride downtown and collect him once his evening of hanging about was done.
I’ll admit…that made me the proudest parent on the planet right at that moment in time.
Now, his stated rationale was that he wasn’t keen on paying the rates for parking downtown and I really can’t blame him on that point…the parking down there does tend to be extortionately expensive, especially when it’s the evening hours and the pubs are in full swing.
But I have no doubt that the real reason was that he didn’t want to even take the chance of being nailed for drink driving no matter how much or how little he’d consumed over the evening.
This is the main reason I’m very happy he works where he does and have been all these years.
Even when he regales me with tales of their latest efforts to drive him to within an inch of his sanity (newsflash…working for someone else has always sucked for all of us!), I’m glad he’s stuck it out because as long as he’s there…I have been nowhere near as terrified of him making a very poor choice as I was when he started driving and especially when he turned 21.
It’s somewhat shocking the rationalisations someone will go through to convince themselves they’re OK to drive even though it’s patently obvious to anyone observing them that they’re not. Then add friends and peer pressure, whether it’s his mates from his school years or the beer leagues and the calculus becomes even more unfavourable.
I think him seeing just how miserable life was for his mechanic colleagues who got done for drink driving who were then barred from driving customer vehicles into and out of the service bays and instead had to depend on someone else to do a very critical function of their job has probably done more to keep him from making very unwise choices than any lecture on the subject I could give or threats of recriminations should he have chosen poorly and official notice was taken of it…or worse.
I’d much rather make a trip somewhere to collect a breathing and otherwise healthy child than have that knock on the door that no parent ever wants to hear.
That is why I have no problem being at the wheel whether it’s a trip to the rink for one of his games or when he’s on the ice refereeing and I’m in the booth handling the scoring and the music.
It’s infinitely preferable to sitting at home and going out of my mind thinking back to all of those MVAs I attended with my mother and stepfather which often had dreadfully unfortunate consequences for the innocent motorists and letting my imagination think the worst.
That is why I’m proud of him for pre-emptively invoking that promise I made him so long ago and why him trusting me in such a way was a gift beyond words.
So happiest of birthdays and may you have many happy returns of the day and we’ll have to figure out the best time for the bogrács gulyás…you’ve more than earned it along with my love and pride! 🙂