Today’s weather forecast seems to have a “my northern cousins are exacting their revenge” vibe.
In fairness, last week I did make the occasional gentle regional comparison joke here and there as they were being buried by their variation of a “snowpocalypse” or winter storm Blair (hey Weather Channel, naming winter storms *NEVER* going to be a real thing!) or as anyone who has ever lived upon the frozen tundra would call it…a normal winter day!
It seems there might have been some prayers emanating from certain Midwestern states to remind those of us in North Carolina who haven’t seen measurable snow in over 1,000 days what we’ve not been missing over that time.
We’re in what is considered a humid subtropical climate, for goodness sake!
Our subtropical highlands (otherwise known as the North Carolina mountains which kind of took it on the chin from a *REAL NAMED STORM* called Hurricane Helene) is our usually quite effective line of defence against the nastiness regularly endured by my cousins in the Midwest.
Key word there is SUBTROPICAL as in anything but the usual hallmarks of the Great White North like massive amounts of snow, ice, igloos, and rather mad people freezing their buns off in little shacks on a frozen lake doing two things where only one of the activities (drinking to excess) seems to make any sense whatsoever.
There’s a reason why the Almighty figured the Appalachians were a mighty fine idea to dramatically weaken storms and extreme cold from west and north of here.
We’re utterly incapable of handling much more than an inch of snow which you can drive on but NC DOT will then quite unhelpfully scrape off to get to the NHL quality ice covering our motorways.
The snow and ice hadn’t even arrived and these people were already driving like maniacs!
I kid you not…yesterday afternoon after dropping Alex off at work at the Garner Chick Fil-A, I was nearly rear-ended by a van piloted by a Hispanic labourer (at least I presume so as he was wearing a high-visibility vest as were his mates who I’d have to imagine were utterly terrified at what their driver was doing).
He was giving those hamsters under his bonnet the beans and then would jam on the brakes when the person in front of him couldn’t change lanes because of other traffic.
As he finally decided to overtake me in a way that didn’t involve a nasty collision, I swear he was hunched over his steering wheel like Cruella de Vil when she’s trying to ram the mover’s lorry with all of the Dalmatians aboard! Frankly, the expression on his face wasn’t too far from Cruella’s, if I’m honest about it.
After he nearly killed me, he then proceeded to do the same “give it full beans and slam the brakes” thing to four other vehicles including a handyman’s van that was pulling a huge trailer with an excavator before finally blasting out into the I-87 motorway traffic past my usual exit.
Add snow and ice and the absolute last place you want to be is on any of our streets.
It’s a simple concept…coefficient of friction on ice is *ZILCH*. NC DOT won’t leave the snow that at least gives you some traction. And the only ones out on the roads are fools who think they’re NASCAR drivers but nowhere near the skills to drift their cars when the ice induces massive snap oversteer.
That’s why my Traverse has been backed into the garage and I have zero desire to move her from that spot until Sunday afternoon when all of this crap is expected to melt is gone.
I’m rather hoping we get more snow than the ice but the latest track isn’t particularly reassuring.
If I’m honest about it, the models haven’t been reassuring for days ever since the Midwest was being buried by last week’s storm.
One sure fire way of knowing North Carolina is screwed is when the weather ensembles converge relatively early (particularly NOAA’s GEFS and the European ECMWF models) and both of them have been much more on the “ice storm” than “snow event” bandwagon for at least four days.
Oh, we’ve had the odd ice storm every now and then and Elsa’s handiwork during those is a real bounty buffet of SUCK.
I *HATE* ice storms with a passion. You get a quarter-inch of ice on the power lines and that’s just asking for trouble round here…if the power lines don’t come down on their own accord, the tree limbs that grow above them that snap off with that weight of ice will take the power lines down.
Anywho, the stripes on the motorway and no need to go anywhere anytime soon are all the hint I need to stay out of the “Bang and Bash Demolition Derby” that will be the roads for the next couple of days.
Meanwhile, I’ll take one for the team and apologise to my cousins straightaway…may you be safe in whatever winter throws your way! 🙂
